Staring at wedding planners, budgets, magazines, bridal pictures and unending repetitive lists of questions related to organizing a wedding has thoroughly confused me. Things have barely begun and already I'm feeling stressed out. It's no wonder people elope of just forget about the whole reception.

I am rather tempted to forget the whole affair and stick to the bare bones registry. But deep down, I really want something meaningful that's about Lee and I, which I sincerely want to share with my family and friends.

Taking cue from Mei's wedding jitters, I'm reminded of Lee's favourite TV show, Bridezillas (aired on Arena). Don't ask me if it was his way of hinting or gauging where our relationship was going, but while sitting with him watching the show, he did ask me if I'd be a bridezilla.

Bridezilla (a portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends and bridal vendors in her wake. A bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day and will disregard the feelings of her family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest for the perfect wedding.

Last week, a girlfriend told me how she liked what I'd written about my engagement ring. I mentioned it to Lee, and he added that there was a whole lot more meaning to the ring than what I'd written.

Actually the thought was about tying the knot. The different golds represent past, present and future. But also represent our different backgrounds and creating a new one.

I'm honestly adamant about having your typical 8/10-course Chinese reception dinner. Needless to say, after all those types of banquets, I've realised that not many people have their fill of the food anyway. I know it's more out of culture and that every dish signifies fertility, prosperity and happiness for the couple, but it's obviously not me. Nor Lee (despite his name =P). So I'm going to be very thankful that I won't have any family members, nor relatives crying disgrace, if Lee & I didn't have one.

So instead, the direction that we'll be heading would be for a cocktail dinner reception. Not cocktails and dinner, mind you. A stand-up, move around-eat-drink-and-mingle reception. Excuse me for having to spell it out, but this isn't a very common affair for Malaysian weddings. I know of fancy exclusive parties who do cocktail dinners, but I haven't been to one for a wedding.

The strangest 'argument' I've had so far was with a couple of girlfriends, who claims that the engagement ring goes on the middle finger.

Whyyy? So I can give the finger to the guys who've missed out, while showing it off?? tsk

Everywhere I've researched even before the 'argument', shows that it goes on the left hand's ring (fourth) finger between the pinky and middle finger. Although in some cultures, the engagement and marriage rings are put on the right hand's ring finger. Apparently the Chinese Malaysians wear the wedding bands on their right hands.

In Western tradition, an engagement ring is a ring worn by a woman on her left-hand ring finger indicating her engagement to be married. By modern convention, the ring is usually presented as a betrothal gift by a man to his prospective bride while or directly after she accepts his marriage proposal. It represents a formal agreement to future marriage.

Similar traditions purportedly date to classical times, dating back from an early usage reportedly referring to the fourth finger of the left hand as containing the vena amoris or "vein of love".
~Engagement Ring, Wikipedia

Anyway, Lee put the ring on my left ring finger. So it stays there.

A girlfriend asked me to insist on getting four carats for the wedding ring.

Uhm, excuse me? He'll give me carrots for sure. His share, 'cos he hates them.

Maybe if I was like her sitting in the office most the day and rarely meeting people, I guess I won't mind. But even looking at her RM20k rock, I ask myself,

How does she do anything with that on her finger?

It would probably feel dreamy to own something that expensive. But it doesn't seem practical.

And honestly, it just isn't me.

Having a reception doesn't bloody matter any more. I'll probably just settle for the light and easy civil ceremony and a convalidation in Sydney.