You can count on the fact that someone will ask you a question that is intrusive, embarrassing, or downright offensive at some point during the party. Your answer should strive to clarify the question, put them on the spot, or shut them up. Of course, whether a question is rude or not has a lot to do with who asked it. Here are some volleys for the most common none-of-your-business queries:

* Who's paying for the wedding?
Inquire, "Why do you ask?" They may be getting married soon -- or marrying off a child -- and are curious as to how you juggled your budget (a valid question). If someone is just prying, say, "My sugar daddy." or "I finally sold my collection of comic books and action figures."

* When are going to start having kids?
If kids are in your future, reassure older family members (who come from a different generation and are genuinely anxious to cuddle new kids) that having children is very important to you and that they'll be the first to know when you two decide the time is right. (If they tend to go on about it, excuse yourself immediately to greet a guest.) If you're not sure, buy time by saying that you want to have your new partner all to yourself for a few years first. Nosey contemporaries should get what they deserve: A joke in return. Perhaps say something like, "When you're ready to baby-sit them!" or "We're still practising."

* Does he make enough to support you?
Oh, please. Just say "Plenty!" or "Why do you ask?" To people you know well, ask, "Why? Does he look hungry?" or "I'm so glad you asked! We're currently accepting contributions -- how much can I put you down for?"

* Who is the best man and maid of honour?
Tread carefully! If you haven't decided yet, don't give hopeful applicants any encouragement -- you don't want to make an offhand commitment that you'll later regret. Simply say something like, "It's a really tough call. I/We have so many special people in our lives that we want to take some time to make the right decision."

* How big is it? (Your diamond, that is)
Can you say shallow? Some pesky -- or jealous -- people equate the size of your rock with the size of his love, or how much he thinks you're "worth". It can also be their way of gauging how much he earns. Don't stand for it. Smile and quip, "None of your business!" or ignore the question and muse, "It's absolutely perfect." If a good friend asks, he or she is probably just captivated by the sight of the little stunner and blurted out the question before thinking. (On a we're-all-human side note: If you know how many carats the diamond is, does that mean that you asked, too?)