April 2009 Archives

Autumn's always been my favourite season. For some reason, April showers and shadowy clouds on a chilly day brings out the sombre, contemplative side in me. The khaki coloured leaves piling up in the gutters and gusts of mini willy willys remind me of the parts of ourselves that we shed to start the next day, the next chapter of our lives.

It doesn't need to always be a new season three months later. It could be a new job, a new relationship, a new addition to the family or starting a course, that new milestone that our lives start and stop and overlap with.

While most of the planet greets April as the month of spring in full bloom, upside down in Australia as autumn it's nonetheless as meaningful. Polar opposites exist to remind us that the cycle is there for in affirmative reason.

Pondering on Steph's confessional, I can't help but confront my own thoughts. With so many significant events having gone on in my life the last couple of years, I haven't honestly had the chance to stop to confront that existentialist question. It's crossed over every now and then, but only fleetingly and never long enough for me to deal with it. Although I acknowledge that these events all happened for a reason, no matter how excruciating and painful or how blissful, there's still a part of me that ignores listening to those lessons, and I keep running. It's as though since I made that decision to "take the plunge", it became the literal plunge wherein life moves without breaks.

Some might say that's a good thing, that it's living life. I'd say, not entirely. While it's cool that I don't feel so enrapt in the details, I think the soul is missing something. It's missing being listened to.

Even though mother nature knows its course and everything around it follows, we seem to be the only beings who can do otherwise. We forget to listen to mother nature, the Creator's voice, who can tell us where and what we're looking for.

And then I understand why summer turns to autumn turns to winter turns to spring.

Long story short, this person was just a toxic influence in a job I actually enjoyed. How do you decide between a job you felt could be a new career versus a pain in the ass manager who doesn't believe in managing a team with positive encouragement or reinforcement? Who would rather believe in stereotypes than the truth and yelling unwarranted obscenities during meetings. It was also obvious by my first month of working there that he hated my supervisor.

I was somewhat trapped; but it came as a blessing in disguise when I got retrenched, two days after I turned 30. It wasn't a very nice experience, for sure. I just grew very resentful of that office in the weeks leading up to it and the retrenchment announcement was the crux of it. The irony was I felt liberated and relief.

Doubly more so when two competing magazine editors and a publicist called to tell me that I was very good at what I did there, and that they were surprised to hear that I was the one retrenched. The affirmations I never got from that manager, I received from the industry. It was good enough for me to move on.

I received the following story in an email just a couple hours ago. It couldn't have come at a better time, as gentle reminder about what a marriage should be about - for eternity. For those who are married, unmarried and yet to be married, the following is a sharing of what a relationship needs to be...

A year down, infinity to go! I can't believe it's been a whole year for us already. Time flies when you're having fun, and that's a good thing to say about being together, isn't it? *^_^* Not trying to overlook that we haven't had our disagreements or kinks, which is a given, of course.

In a simple quiet first anniversary celebration, I decided to book 10-course degustation dinner for two at French restaurant Bécasse in the city.

The experience at Bécasse was quite fascinating, because it's not a place we could afford to go all the time. Lee said, it was surreal having to experience food presented like we've only seen off the Lifestyle Food channel. He was quite tempted to head to the kitchen and yell, "Yes, chef!!!" I agreed that while watching these little jellies and coagulated olive oil arrive on our plates, it was like I was being served by Heston Blumenthal!