Today, I just listened to 2002 Booker Prize winner Yann Martel read from his book Life of Pi then share some insights into his writings and upcoming book in an audience Q&A. Later to get his autograph and his interpretation of his book cover drawn onto the back pages of our copies.

There's something inspiring about being in Australia and having these artists so accessible. There's a relatable humanness that you need to see and speak with that person to realise that you could do it too. Self-doubt is put aside when you stop romanticising another artist.

After many years of thinking about it, I've finally made the long desired attempt to oil paint. I've been suffering the creative pangs in the office, missing a creative work environment dearly. We work in silos at the moment, and no one actually has discussions about the work nor is there teamwork involved, it's a very different dynamic than production work which I've been so used to. Of course, it's just parcel of adapting into a new career and work culture.

On the bright side, I guess it just means I can channel the creative need into things I want to do on the side. It felt liberating painting the two canvasses I attempted. So much so, I've bought an oil sketch book, a couple more canvasses and technique books.

I wonder, do people who live in four-season countries embrace life's changes better than those who don't experience this beautiful seasonal transition?

The city of trams and trains, while very well laid out, felt aberrant. Its insistence for modern and artistic expressions with its sculptures and architecture stands starkly overdone. I liken it to a painting where the painter has spent too much time 'perfecting' it. There seems to be nothing natural about the city. And maybe that's what a city is, man-made. But standing beside its older sister, Sydney, whose beauty belongs in the natural and how nature has created a wild city to suit its needs, Melbourne feels rather sterile.

For one, the fact that there are enormous sculptures everywhere baffled me. There are rarely any trees or flora which could've at least tamed the tram and train lines casting infinite streaks across the city sky from pedestrian view. Ironically, it did feel a bit too intense for me. Needless to say, getting on and off the tram was a chore than ease for a first timer.

The other stark difference between Sydney and Melbourne which I also did experience was the weather. Sun, rain and cloudy skies took their turns all day, and honestly made me miss and appreciate Sydney's weather more. Winter or not.

On the other hand, the one full day Lee and I manage to spend sight-seeing did allow me to experience a little bit of warmth of Melbourne's artistic soul. I enjoyed the Rose St Artist Market in Fitzroy, and admit it is better than my Sydney fave - the Glebe market. There were no mix of traders reselling wares from Indonesia, Thailand or South Africa, everything were beautifully hand crafted by Melbourne artists. I regret taking photos of the wares, but felt like it would be stealing the artists' works without permission. Some of the amazing things I saw was an artist cross-stitching a psychedelic anime art poster, kitchen utensils and plumbing bits made into jewellery and handmade hats made from imported Scottish felt. I couldn't resist buying myself these pair of gorgeous fused dichroic glass rings (right)!

After the market, we headed up to North Fitzroy to a gig where my bro's friend Kevin's band Broken Scar was playing. Good lil' cosy reminder of the days in KL when I used to go for gigs. Much too close to home! Hahaha... While an old collegemate, JK came up to meet us, I also finally got to meet the lovely Lynn Lim in person! Another one of those old faithful Malaysian blog readers I never got to meet until we all migrated to Australia. What gives?? =P

With not much time to sample Melbourne's food nooks and crannies, JK and Lynn took us up to the Greek precinct Lonsdale St to have dinner at Stalactites. And stuffed indeed were we with souvlakis! I so wished we had room for dessert!!

So while I concede that I now love Sydney better than Melbourne, I still wouldn't mind going back to experience more of the city's outlandish artwork and hidden attractions.

Plus, you can't get stranger than a train station named Batman. "Holy smoke Batman! It's an electric train!"

You don't care. I know.

I'm not inspired to blog because I'm not inspired. Too much negativity one after another here will make you disillusioned to think everything is going badly. It isn't. I just have no one else to vent to - but into this black hole called the internet.

I'm a whinger. That was said to me by my boss at work and it hurt, a lot. Even if it was delivered as a typical scathing Aussie banter. Only because I'm emotionally vulnerable in one of those erratic adjustment phase right now. I loathe it.

I don't belong. Feels like. Any where.

Does anyone even listen?

Lee says I talk in my sleep. Often enough for him to point it out. He thinks I speak in Malay in my sleep! I don't even think in that language. A colleague of his, who's also a close friend of mine, was also told by her husband that she talks in her sleep. But she definitely speaks her mother tongue, German. We're both similarly in our migrant backgrounds. Makes me wonder if it's because we're desolate and don't have anyone else to talk to about how we feel in our new lives.

I want to be alone. But I don't.

Why do people have children? Why do you have children? Does it matter? The older I get, the less I want one. Thank God I live far away from that nagging culture of those who insist on perpetuating the chronological list of life.

Why are you here? I wish I wasn't.

Too much space makes you deranged.

What I didn't write in that blog entry was that in the car that Sunday evening, I said to God that if this was all meant to be I would be in Sydney for the World Youth Day. I looked up to the sky and then saw a rainbow. It was a sign He was telling me He would keep his promise.

He has.

By God-incidence, I was asked if I was the pilgrim group leader for St Augustine's before my arrival to Sydney in December last year. I took it as a sign that He wants me to do something in return for Him. So I said yes. Unfortunately, the road was hard to get a pilgrim group together from that small parish.

I had been mulling over what to do without a group. To spend $335 on a 5-day package and go on my own, or just attend the few events available to the general public.

I went to collect the WYD kit today for another parishioner who wanted to get one but was going to go on her own. I still hadn't decided about myself. What more, Lee said he was taking the week off to attend the event with me as well. That was a pleasant surprise. But $335 for each person was still too much.

The person behind the registration counter had a kit for seven pilgrims from my group. When I told him only one was paid for, he gave me two! I felt touched and thankful for the gesture. (I forgot to get your name, but to the American guy at the Chippendale pick-up station who's been working so hard against today's "logistical nightmare" - thank you!!)

It's a wonderful affirmation of His continuing blessings.

Not complete strangers, we spoke to fill in the gaps of all the things we knew of each other from those years of reading. It's funny how life takes turns to bring people together. I know it's been like that even for me when I ended up marrying Lee, but I still feel wonderment to experience these little things.

One of the things Ste's said to me was how it seems that I've adapted really well. I couldn't help but think how ironic her statement was at this precise point in time. It has been welling up inside me for a while now, particularly after the wedding and getting my job that reality hit me.

So, what do I do with myself? How do I begin a new life? I've got a great job that's something I've always wanted to do ever since I was 13, a wonderful husband, I live in one of the world's top 10 cities... What else could there be? It's that exact question that makes me feel like this is not it. My life is where it is now because I've subtracted a whole lot of familiar things - my family, friends whom I grew up with, the city I grew up in. Life's not complete now. I don't think it ever would be...

I'm a wheel in motion, but in a motion with no direction. Where do I go now that I've reached this place?

Work's been a bittersweet experience. All of the one plus three months of it. It proved that I still have got it in me - that go getter, perfectionist at work attitude. But little do you really know what goes through my mind when I step out that office door, or when I hang up the phone after an interview... Working life here is a culture shock to me. A shock to the system that's gotten me worn out. Even if language isn't an issue.

I've always had at the back of my mind that working in Australia was going to be the rough and rigid culture I've seen in any Western world TV show. Of course, I knew TV was a fantasy. But what else would you rationalise with the unknown? Besides, it's common knowledge that the kwai lohs are more vocally blunt than Asians anyway. And they don't have the "save face" mentality. How was I going to stand up to that? I am a little fish in a big pond.

I arrived in Australia intimidated. The me who had so much to be proud of, reached this land with her tail between her legs. Nothing I'd done in the past could hold me up. I knew I was beginning from nothing.

Adapting to the work culture differences have been generally manageable for far. But it's even the small moments that could shock my system.

My editor is the most amazing person to work with. She's always giving out praise and constructive criticism where due. It's definitely such a great and healthy environment to work in. I just wasn't used to having a supervisor give out (so much) praise. Commendations were always rare to me in my seven years working in Malaysia. Even from my own parents. If you did something right, no one said anything - they'd just give you more work to make up for the person who's not doing well. If you did something wrong, hell breaks loose. So how do you deal with constant praise?

Then there's the whole work-life balance culture. Just last week, I'd been stressing myself over a huge deadline - having to submit five articles for the magazine (about 5000 words), and I'd only managed to submit two come Friday while the big three pager was a quarter the way. I knew I'd have to work the weekend. Instead, my editor told me not to and continue it the following week and give it to her by late Monday or Tuesday morning latest.

I sat staring at the computer, blankly. The "sweatshop worker" in me wanted to keep going. I'd work overnight days on end in TV production. How was I going to get it out of my system?

I shut the laptop down, took it home with me thinking I could probably look it over on the weekend. But that never happened.

I need to relearn and adapt to this whole work-life balance. Not because I have to. I want to. It's absolutely great! It's just that when you've been conditioned to work a certain way, you feel guilty even when you don't need to. And believe me, the guilt is still there.

There's always going to be a whole lot more adapting to come.

It's an animated children's series called Evil Genius Academy that is being pitched at the Animation Magazine's Pitch Party 2008. Now as his talented evil sidekick, I implore you to vote for him or suffer the consequences! You have until June 25 or this plan will fail!
http://www.animationmagazine.net/pitch_party_08_vote.html
His ad is on the second last row at the bottom, 2nd from left. Vote vote vote!

Failure is Genius! Muahahah....! =P

I think he's just lost his favour rating with the Asians, especially Malaysians at this point in time.

This is my second winter in Australia. I barely remember how I survived my first winter in Perth. But being a student and completely frugal, I didn't bother with styles at al . Now, with a disposable income and a whole new lifestyle to adapt to, I am suddenly quite conscious about the clothes I chose to wear. I absolutely love how Australia has great cuts and choices, amazing bright colours for their Spring/Summer collections; but find it madly ironic that Autumn/Winter sees the stores full of gloomy greys, black and browns.

Shopping for winter has been quite a task for me, because its a whole wardrobe that never existed in my life prior. I walk into the women's section and see all these daggy looking granny knits, and I dread that I could easily look like a bag lady with all that layering! Doesn't help that I'm not cold-weather friendly! Heh. What's worse for me though is, how do you dress up formally for winter?? Most dresses are cut sexy or short, so I end up figuring that I have to get more than one overcoat for different types of occasions.

I guess I'm doing alright... still capably "fashionable", despite the handicap. Tsk. I now understand why some women would be flipping those girly mags for tips. But I prefer the Internet to find out things like how to wear a scarf or even a beanie, because then you'll stumble on cool videos like these...

This one's a bit of a toughie for me because there's no catalyst mentioned about why I'd want to consciously change my lifestyle, even if I were to assume the issue was from the rising cost of living. Nevertheless, my lifestyle has already changed since moving countries and cultures. So I'll make this a list about how my lifestyle has changed...

* I shop with a green bag
It's the Woolies "gay green bag", as Lee would call it. Instead of stocking up on plastic bags, I carry along a couple of green bags to do the grocery shopping. I also love how some fashion shops have their own calico bags that are a bit more fashionable to carry around, like Wittner's. Worst one I've got though, is 3's lolly pink calico bag! x_X Blegh.

* I take the bus to work
I love the fact that I don't have to worry about paying for petrol and the dreaded monthly car instalments anymore! Hehe... Since we live so close to the city and to work, I'm only a 20-15min bus ride away from the buzz. Convenience! I think one car for the both of us is more than enough.

* I don't eat out as much
I do miss those RM3 (AUD$1) bowl of noodles or plate of chap fan for my daily work lunch. I know those prices would've gone up by now, but at least its still better than paying AUD$7 for a sandwich. When I'm in the mood to cook, I actually do make my own lunch to take to work. Even for evening social occasions, we often end up entertaining at home or being entertained at someone's place who'll do the cooking.

* I walk more
"Too near to take a bus, too far to walk" was how my dad put it when he came to visit. Sydneysiders are just so fond of walking everywhere. It was a bit of a change to get used to (Malaysians don't walk places!!!), but I have found myself enjoying a nice walk on several occasions between Pyrmont to St Mary's cathedral, and Surry Hills to Pyrmont - about a 3-5km distance.

* I shop at factory outlets or vintage shops
I just love DFO, Birkenhead Point and the small vintage shops scattered around. Bargains for good quality goods! And places like the Salvos are great to keep wastage low. Oh, and gumtree is awesome for exchanges too! There are just so many opportunities in Australia to be frugal if you know where to look, despite a high cost of living.

* I recycle paper, plastic and glass
Most households (depending on local councils) are given two or three garbage bins - one for general household waste and one for recycling paper, plastic and glass. You're expected to separate your waste properly, or risk not getting your garbage picked up!

I can't think up anything else that's a significant change. But adjusting to the Australian lifestyle makes it so easy for me to be eco friendly!

So who else would make a lifestyle change? Sourrain? Mei? Lisa? eternity? Erna? Tag, you're it!

What is this?
This idea is based on the movie Pay it Forward. You know the one with Haley Joel Osment, that has that sad ending? ^_~ Anyway, the concept is that when someone does you a good turn, instead of repaying them back, you pay it forward to someone else. With the hope that kindness will be passed on constantly. Some would say "What goes around comes around"... Karma... That sort of thing.

How will it work here?
In this instance, I'll put together a care package for three random folks who leave a comment in this entry (valid til May 31st). To make it more interesting and less of a "I want a freebie" grab, share with me a favourite personal quote which inspires you. The three that gets my attention will be the lucky trio.

Oh and please, please leave a valid email address in your comments so I can email to ask your mailing address. If you hate those spambots, add the word REMOVE in caps after the @.

What's in the care package?
Let's make it a surprise. Of course, it'll be a practical care package. Or maybe a mix of practical and creative. I might even throw in a couple of my handmade jewellery pieces. The point is, nothing is junk! Even if it might not be useful to you, don't throw it away! Give it to someone else as a birthday present, or a "just thinking of you" present! That'll be paying it forward too! ^_~

When will it arrive?
I'm in Sydney, Australia and I'll be sending it via air mail parcel. Most of the time, it'll arrive to wherever you are outside Australia in a week or two from the time I mail it off. If you're in Aus, then it's within a working day or two.

What's the catch?
As the concept was mentioned earlier, you won't need to pay me back anything. You just need to pay it forward. If you have a blog, put this up on your blog and do the same for someone else. If not, do it in real life for someone you know... Or someone you haven't been in touch with in a long time, but have their contact via Facebook. ^_~

"Can I specify my gifts?"
Nope. This isn't a retail request. The concept of "paying it forward" means it has to come from the heart.

So what are you waiting for? I want to pay it forward now... ^_^

I feel it rather odd for people to be asking the question "How's married life?" looking at the circumstances that I've been in while having moved to Sydney for off and on the last two years now. I think that the big move, having a new career and starting a new life altogether has made "getting married" a small part of a bigger picture. But not insignificantly small, rather meaningfully minute. If you'd been following the events of my life here long enough, I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.

I wouldn't have married if I wasn't here. And I wouldn't be here if I wasn't married.

But if you want something less complicated, I'm lovin' it! ^_~

***
Blog ini dituju khas kepada Pak Muteaudio yang telah memintanya. Heheh... Mute tidak meminta saya menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia, tetapi saya ingat ia mungkin idea bagus bagi saya berlatih bahasa ni sekali-sekala.

A week and a half into work and I've managed to work on two magazine stories and a web story. So begins my real foray into journalism in this new home down under. I couldn't be more proud of myself when my colleague posted my web story as an exclusive today!

IF exclusive: Industry leaders gear up for Australia 2020
The film industry is approaching the 2020 Summit with great optimism. Attendees Hal McElroy, Robert Connolly & Geoffrey Atherden speak with Inside Film about what they are bringing to the table.

The wedding is in exactly two weeks, and I've still a lot to do on the detail front. At least all the big things are out of the way, and we're set! Friends and family will start pouring into Sydney from Thursday on. It's going to get exciting. I just told Lee, I think that if it weren't for starting this new job now, I think I would've been stressed and needlessly nervous as hell about getting married. Heeh...

Mrs Sheppard... Hmm, I can't wait. *^_^*

Thank God for all the things that has happened in the last one week, that's changed all these gloomy skies to bright blue! I had wonderful friends and even strangers respond to my one wish in such generosity in the whole week; on the evening of Holy Thursday, I received a call saying that I got the job of journalist for a film magazine; and my brother called me last night to say that my dad is coming for the wedding! *^_^*

I even look back to remember two years ago on Holy Thursday as well, when Lee and I made "first click". Then in the following Easter season, Lee proposed. Now we're getting married this year, in the fourth week of Easter... *^_^* There's no doubting God's behind all this for sure!

Happy Easter everyone!