28-yr old nocturnal over@nal geekette Malaysian.
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Putting on the speed bumps
I spoke with my case officer yesterday about a tiny speed bump over my health check for the visa. It's nothing major, just a bit of delay in getting one of the reports. She seemed chipper about getting my visa done quickly, and relayed how her other clients were pestering her to get their visas because their wedding date was approaching. Somehow I suddenly felt like maybe I wasn't as excited, for not jumping onto the badgering bandwagon. And to think one of my girlfriends had asked me why I was so in a hurry to get married. Tsk.
It's not so much a matter of getting married, as much as it's being able to be with Lee. Living in two different countries and having no mutual geographic history together is very different from your average LDR. And when legalities come in the way of being together, it's bloody expensive for us to be bouncing back and forth and playing the "hard-to-get" game, if you know what I mean. So yeah, the whole pretty pomp and splendour of a wedding is starting to get tossed into the back seat. It's a "I-just-want-to-get-it-over-with-a-civil-ceremony-so-I-can-be-with-him" mode. ^_~
On a more emotional note, reading on the comments from my Little Disappointments entry made me ponder about how I've clearly been putting too high expectations on everyone around me, including myself. It hasn't quite hit me how my priorities are changing, and I'll have to deal with the inevitable drifting apart from my old friends.
Of late, I knew I was adapting the philosophy of trying to live for today, and not behaving like everyone around me will be around forever. That was the reason for Little Disappointments. I was just wishing, idealistically, that people realise that no one lives forever. Just like children, who only grow up once, missing an event in someone's life means missing it forever. I should just be resigned to the fact then, that there's no point in trying. I'll just be dismissed as being too emotional. Don't tell me what I don't already know. Everything I'm learning about myself to proudly accept, and not going to change. It's what makes me, me. And sensitive enough to feel and write.
Well, September's coming to an end now. It's time I start packing up my things for Sydney. For good, this time.
I wonder how much of my life will fit into how many boxes.