Coming back from the holiday, I can't seem to help but fall back into the heartbreaking reality I felt from the engagement party last week. While everything went awesome, and as meaningful as I hoped it would turn out to be, the most disappointing thing to have happened was that six of my closest contemporaries and confidants didn't turn up for my engagement party.

I know half of them had very valid excuses, but it hurt me to feel like this wasn't important to them as it was for me. Especially when you've shared a lot of your life, emotions and most difficult moments with them, you'd wish that they'd be able to share even the good moments too. *sigh* I'm still very hurt from it. I could almost imagine that, had I not also invited other friends whom I didn't share as much personal or emotional history with, I might as well only have had two guests. I guess it hurts also because I know I'm not going to be living in the same city as everyone any more, and it's as though they don't care that I'm leaving. And also that there is a high chance that I won't have a reception in KL, hence, keeping the number of people able to attend it in Sydney very small.

What annoyed me was one friend, whom although I felt sympathy for her guilt for not being able to attend because she was ill, called me also in the middle of things to say how bad she felt. Another pissed me off real bad, because he didn't bother RSVP-ing, but called me in the middle of the party, interrupting a game we were having with our guests, and saying (quite rudely, in my opinion) he'd be late. He eventually didn't turn up, of course. At that point, I was very frustrated and angry that they had the gall to interrupt me from entertaining those who did make the wonderful effort to RSVP and attend to share in the event with Lee, my family and I.

After all this, I question my choice of company and friends now, really. Was it just pure coincidence that all who were close to me couldn't make it for the party? Or just that I've been making wrong assumptions over who were my closest friends? *sigh*

In any case, I value very deeply those who did turn up and helped with the event, albeit last minute. I will be posting a few words of thanks and what happened at the engagement party-blessing ceremony at the wedding blog soon enough. Particularly when I get the photos from my "official photographer".