It wasn't something I was used to, never being taught how to address elders the Chinese-way. Not being able to speak any dialect, so I couldn't understand most of what his grandmother, parents and relatives were saying. I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb during their Chinese New Year gatherings. I'd even been mistaken as being Malay by his niece. Despite his mum being rather endearing to me, maybe one of the reasons why our relationship didn't last was because I didn't see myself fitting into their family.

With Lee on the other hand, maybe because of my "Westernized" Asian up-bringing and English being my staple language, there were a lot of things I could accept and understand better. I also felt that Australians were more Asian than Western, in that they have a better acceptance of things Asian and embrace multi-culturalism. Hence, there wasn't much needed in order for me to cope with my relationship with Lee. It was also because he was already familiar and accepting to Asian cultures due to having a Chinese-Australian neighbour and best friend while growing up. It helped heaps that he comically absorbs any Malaysian traits he sees, too.

Honestly, from my experience, I wouldn't single out dating a white guy as any different than dating different guys of any other race because every individual is unique. Every person has different values and belief systems, regardless of race. It's only a matter of knowing what you want and can contribute to in a relationship that would make the differences jarring.

A Malaysian Chinese friend married to a Finnish girl once told me his mother was tentative about him dating a Western girl. She was afraid the girl wouldn't be able to take care of her son (the Asian way). It was all about family values and presumption based on American media portrayal and divorce rates that a white person would only cause disarray to important Asian family values. While that can be true, it lies a stereotype to all Western races. In this case, what my friend's mother didn't know was that this girl came from a background that instilled strong family values.

I don't blame my friend's mum for making these presumptions. I think a lot of my peers would be facing the same problem with any family member if they knew they were dating a white person. There will always be the apprehension to what is different and unfamiliar to our own culture. Inasmuch as there is a natural survival instinct to preserve cultural values and tradition as is.

Then again on the other hand, we are living in an era of globalisation - not just affecting us economically, but socially. Wherein the Internet makes interracial and inter-cultural relationships a norm, and the term global village is reality. What will hinder us from accepting this is merely fear.