Little over ten years ago, I broke up with my first love. A young adult, on the verge of stepping into a wider world of wonder. I moved on to another, and another... and another... and other. They say you never forget your first love. And indeed, you never do. In the journey, I decided to "turn back" a few times. I knew he never forgot me. But the other he was with, bittered by us, didn't want him to have anything to do with me. He was half a world away. Half a day away. So midnite lily became. To pursue my past, to wonder if I could still be with him. Underneath the shadows of the hour, I hid. He knew.

Nothing came of it. But the name lingered with me. So many other names came and went, but this one lingered. Stayed. I didn't know why. It just became a presence that lived and breathed its own life. The life that you know and read.

A year ago, to midnite lily, he wrote...

I've been reading some of your recent posts and have a feeling or sense of compassion for what you're experiencing. I wouldn't want to let any of it go by without letting you know that, from someone remotely/removed by land, I've dealt with the same.

The realization came to me last week, my circle of friends are closing together. A dear close college friend was talking to two clients one day, talking about blogs. He told them about his best friend who've been blogging for so many years, and it's one of the few he reads frequently. One client was curious, and asked the blog's name. He said, "midnite lily." The other, bemused,

"You mean Zona?"

Of course he did. He was my first love. He knew midnite lily very well.

He married last December.

It's over.

This is midnite lily's last entry.

Talk about the universe telling me something! Don't look for a partner, they'll find you.