28-yr old nocturnal over@nal geekette Malaysian.
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Brutally honest
It always baffled me to watch on TV how men immediately strike up a "No" to women's
"Am I fat?" or "Does this make me look fat?"only to save their arses. It should be evident by now to both sexes that while the men will always need to lie to ensure coupling bliss, the women are conscious of the lies. So does that mean they don't mind being lied to?
That kind of self-denial embraced is something I don't quite get. I personally look to my partner to give honest criticisms to things I think about and need his opinion for. I'd respect my partner more for that actually, because its mentally stimulating and gives us both something to talk or joke about. So I don't think if I ever did ask that question (which I know I've never done, so far) that I would want him to lie to me. But I know I'm already very critical of myself anyway, and every thought tends to go beyond the physical.
Anyway, I asked Lee what he thought about women expecting their partner to lie to them when asked if they were fat. He said he thought telling the truth should motivate the person to actively do something about it. While I agreed, I also knew that Lee would be the sort who'd cunningly plan his motivation by parking farther from our destination just so I'd be forced to walk it off, should I ever complain I was fat. Which I know I'm not.
But just as much as I want to hear criticisms, I think I deserve affirmations once in a while too. I believe everyone needs a balance of both to aid their self-esteem. So I told Lee that I want him to be brutally honest with me all the time, and added with a grin that
"For every disparaging comment, you owe me a compliment."After a pregnant pause, he replied,
"You have pretty nose hairs."
Comments
*LOL*
Trust me, no matter how we say we want the honesty, we never react well to it! :P
Mei | February 22, 2007 8:56 PM
Asking if certain 'clothing makes you look fat', is what we call a loaded question. If we say ,'yes' we are in trouble, if we say 'no' we get accused of lying.
How can a poor man win? :-)
Dabido (Teflon) | February 22, 2007 10:38 PM
Hahahaha.. he made it humourous. Very clever!
dreymer | February 23, 2007 12:35 AM
I know exactly what you mean. I used to go out with someone who continuesly put me down ~ too fat, dont dress up to spec bla bla and I took it as constructrive critism even when I knew that it wasnt true. It has come to a point now tho that I do not believe ppl when I do get actual compliments. Sick, yes - but true nevertheless. We all have our grouses :-).
Lee does seems to be a level headed bloke tho. :-)
Btw - are you here as a resident? And happy CNY!
mirebella | February 23, 2007 8:20 AM
mei: i agree to an extent, but it's also how we deal with our reaction - take it out on our bfs/friends/family, or swallow our pride.
dabs: heheh... he'll never win if he's woman's a constant time-bomb of course. i can't promise u every woman's the same mah... =P
drey: ^_^
mirebella: oh, that's a toxic bf! i understand what u mean, & i agree =( i can become so critical of myself that i don't believe people's compliments to me too.
he's awesome, and incredibly patient! ^_^
i'm here on an extended visitors visa til May. gong xi gong xi!
midnite lily | February 23, 2007 5:03 PM
Take it out first then swallow a few seconds later? (That sounded so weird!) ^.^
Mei | February 23, 2007 9:53 PM
i'm presuming u were looking at my food photos while writing that? =P hahah...
midnite lily | February 24, 2007 4:21 PM
"This baju nice?" she asked
"Nope!" the boyfriend answered.
"But it's my favourite color." she replied.
So how lah?
muteaudio | February 25, 2007 5:52 AM
=P
midnite lily | February 25, 2007 11:33 AM