You can pretty much assume that during school camps and all extra-curricular activities away from home after that had the same ring to it. A night or two sniffling, hiding between the sheets, embarassingly. But everything else seemed fine at daylight.

I guess despite the bad times my family had gone through, my parents have always made home the most comforting place for my brother and I. My dad had never wanted us apart either. When I was offered an opportunity to study at an asrama penuh (a government boarding school) after my UPSR, my parents said "No, 12 was too young an age to leave home." Then when after my PMR, my mum suggested I move to my grandmother's in Manila to continue studying there. Dad objected.

So I pretty much stayed at home until I was about 21, when I finally moved to Perth to study. Even then, things were cut short when I preferred to take on a job offer back in KL instead. But I remember that even in that five months away, there were so many things about home I had missed.

The room I had rented was in a lovely 70s styled house with three other bedrooms, and a huge lounge and kitchen area. It was a gorgeous home for a family of five. But I couldn't bear coming back from class every day to a silent house. My housemates all kept to themselves most the time. So the house was missing all the sounds of a typical family bustling in activity in the kitchen or TV lounge. That obviously made me homesick.

It wasn't the need to exchange words with your family members. But it was their familiar presence that was what gave home a real ambiance... of love and affection. Growing up, I learnt to understand that a home became a culmination of all the years of building a life together, earning the material things you shared bit by bit, and carving a niche comfort zone with everyone else's lives.

The past one year has been the hardest in trying to get me out of my comfort zone. It keeps ringing in my ears that I'm 27 (going on 28 in less than a month!) and still living at home. But still, I can't get it out of my system. Right now, I just want to go home.

I miss going to work, and having my own paycheck to line my needs. I miss having Toffee around to play with. I miss my own room, that I've splurged on to make cosy. I miss all the spicy food and home-cooked food dad makes. I miss being around my friends or just getting around town on my own.
I just miss home.