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When why is funnier

It's anal to ask too many question, especially when it's more of the Whys. But I love this one from one of the forwarded emails I got today.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you getundressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on...
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?



Comments

1.could it also mean the person is easily awaken with slight noise?
2.can be called a court case also
3. press harder in order to squeeze more juice out from the dying batt.
4. its the way bank are being sarcastic to its customer....
5.Its harder to reach for the stars...even if we can..its a bit too hot
6.they want you to die from the posion in the injection...not a last minute infection.
7. tarzan is also sponsered by Gillette....closer shave with every stroke.
8. because the revolve is bigger than the bullet.
9.the helmet is to keep the pilot's hair out of the wind...quite vain they are.
10.same dude who decide there should be a S in wasp.
11.speed of darkness is inversely proportional to the speed of light.12. no, the definition of normal is too subjective.
12. again, this is too subjective as there are some consider 18C is freezing cold.
13.they are here to help other than us. pay it forward..so they say.
14.yes, some marriage does make life seems a hell lot longer....
15.never tried crying underwater...but peeing, yes.
16.that's a question of priority.
17.because ppl like to feel big and when things seem so small from that distance...they feel like god.
18. the same fella who 1st discovered the fascination of boobs on women.
19. maybe this is the age old question of, chicken 1st or egg 1st?
20. the toaster high setting is for experimental purposes.
21. you can hardly recognize anything frozen and frost-bitten under a 10MW bulbs anyway...anyway, i think its because the bulb would have to be special grade to withstand that prolonged low temperature..
22. you dont wear your poop on your bum...do you?
23. its the undressing the sensual part....its like foreplay.
24. hence the name goofy...
25. blind ppl's dream is more creative
26. tests are difficult
27.baby oil are usually mineral based oil made FOR babies.
28. if you observe some govt officials in certain countries carefully, and the way they preached abt morality...i have to agree that morality comes from these morons.
29. its a 2 for 1 deal..
30. yes, everyone are so full of it after having the soup.
31. maybe should ask why one wants to blow a dog...muahahaha..
32. some ppl think it does...like an accelerator pedal
33. because my phone number is more personal.

u have too much time Ron =P

yeah...that was abt 12mins and 34 secs to do that

Leave a braincell