Or is it culture? The Asian conservativeness doesn't encourage us to express ourselves. Instead, it mostly teaches us to repress. Because of shame. Because showing vulnerability brings judgement and shame. And we can't have that, otherwise we would've a "loss of face". Why make weakness negative if it is a creation? A trait shared by all human beings? If it's so common, why feel shame over weakness?

Love is similar to weakness, isn't it? By expressing love, it means saying to the other irregardless of relationship that "I am not perfect, but I will work at building our relationship"... It means "I want to give myself to you, as I am"... "I am working on being someone you will appreciate, someone who can witness to your life"... It means giving, not taking. Hence, you're admitting your vulnerabilities to the other person. Does that mean, if an Asian parent tells his child "I love you" shows he's being vulnerable to his child? Why is it a shame, or embarassment to admit a weakness?

I personally don't believe it is. I was taught to believe it's a strength to admit being weak. Especially to God. I will admit to being proud to showing my vulnerability sometimes too. Because pride is also a human trait. One that can't exist without humility, or to cause humility. So maybe, we can't say "I love you" to our parents because we don't want to show them that we're vulnerable. Because we'd been working so hard to prove that they've brought up a good child, that we have no failings. Either that or, we're ashamed we didn't put any effort into being part of the relationship.

It feels like an unending circle, doesn't it? If both hide their vulnerabilities from each other, then who will break that chain? We have to start somewhere. And we should do it often, to keep being humble.