They were concise simple lines, but the representation of making them to each other before God was deeper than mere words. One of my girlfriends said,

If only people actually did and kept those vows...

I winced. Marriage vows have lost its meaning. Even making them has no value anymore. It didn't matter if you were Christian or not, people had their own perceptions of what marriage is and when things got difficult or problems in the marriage arose, it was time to leave. No one wants to deal with problems - if you were sick with cancer, if you became bankrupt mid-way after 10 years of marriage. Some would rather leave them and start afresh. Why stay and suffer? It was easier to leave anyway.

I think that's the problem, being easy. Instantaneous pleasures and gratification were the only benefits of being in a relationship. Pain and suffering were not an option. People were also beginning to treat their relationships like their jobs and businesses. If your company was suffering deficits or going to bankrupt, start a new one. Or move to a newer and better company. No harm done.

I don't believe that. A job is something you do to sustain your way of living. Not something you love and loved back. A husband/wife is someone you love, cherish and honour as a human being committed to you. To support and provide for your basic human needs and desires that cannot be bought.

People are afraid to be alone, to lie desolate and isolated. Taking a partner means no longer having to worry about being alone. It also means it'll enable you to move further in your life, in your career, without (or with minimal) worries because he/she is committed to providing for you. When you don't nourish the relationship, of course everything else will suffer. And you won't even be able to work.

The other day, I asked the groom if he was happy that all the wedding ceremonies were done and he could now concentrate on building a great foundation of marriage with his wife. Instead his answer was,

"No, now I get to concentrate on work and make money."

I was taken aback. He was in the school of thought that money made the foundation to a marriage. And so shortly after making the above vows, apparently "for richer and poorer" didn't mean anything to him. He argued with me that I was on Cloud 9 and that I didn't understand anything. I was insulted. I understood more than he did. I knew, particularly as a woman, that if he didn't take care of his wife's basic needs - physical and emotional - and was too busy working, she will stray. Same vice versa, if he didn't let her take care of his needs, he'd stray. The money he makes, wouldn't matter any more either if he didn't have a wife, would it? But if she was materialistic, and would leave him because not having money was a problem, it was even sadder to hear.

Its disheartening that today's modern vows would much read like this -

"Do you take this man or woman to the cleaners, for 50 per cent of his or her income, from this day forth, for richer and richer?"

Money is no replacement for fidelity and love in a marriage. And I've seen that with my own parents. Growing up, my family was poor. We never had our own home. Once we even had to rent a room for the four of us to share and live in; or rely on the generousity of other people. My parents would quarrel days, weeks on end because my father had barely enough to support us. And my mother wasn't allowed to work in the country legally. But they stuck together and honoured their matrimonial vows. And today, we have a home to call our own and along with a lot more blessings. (Sounds similar to your story BigJoe, doesn't it?)

This is the simple reason why these holy matrimonial vows mean a lot to me. And I know I am prepared to suffer the pain in exchange for enduring love. So in my relationship, I had to be sure that the other person I'd marry would honour those vows and realise divorce would never be an option.