from getty imagesI know I've said before how burnt out I've been feeling with work, but on the other end of the spectrum of my life is something incredibly exhillarating that I feel like I'm the most happiest person alive! It's a smile and laughter that sends negativity reeling into a black hole. Although my mind isn't completely in the present, and it's like I'm all too eager to get rid of this burden, I know it's only a matter of time before it happens.

Who would have thought that this was the way I would meet him? The Internet is such a vast social sphere, mostly filled with fears and masks of anonymity. The blogging sphere even more an intriguing way to meet people, especially if you're being true to yourself. The strangest thing was that we've read each other's blogs and had each other linked for over 3 years. Without ever having spoken to each other on IM, and merely left a handful of comments in the course of 3 years, two months ago I get the longest email ever from him. He was relating to me his problems and fears being a blogger among other things, all in an entirely positive outlook that oozed from his email. But just reading those words, I felt taken. I felt a connection. He had me at "Gurday!".

Since then, it's been so intense - emails, Skype, a phone call, endless daily SMSs and loads of YM messages and conversations.

He makes me feel tremendously ecstatic. He makes me smile with his words. He doesn't tell me the things I want to hear. He tells me what I need to hear. He makes me feel like the person I am supposed to be. I'm so comfortable being myself and sharing about myself with him. He makes me motivated to take on the world with my calling. Not by conforming and settling to become the wage slave drone I keep fighting against. He helps me believe in myself.

This is definitely not an infatuation any more.

Y'know, I can't admit to ever feeling like this ever. I can tell you I've fallen in love and fallen for love, but in this case, before now I've never been willing to want to do the things I've thought about recently. Remember my entry about the imaginary mould that alot of us women tend to put our partners in? We suffer a complacency when we settle for whatever we have, even when we're not proud of our partners, only because we don't believe we deserve better. Or that there is someone out there better. I used to be afraid that if I kept trading up, one day I'll find myself with no one. Today, I feel like I've reached my highest trade.

I wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world.

The real thought that surprises even me, was when I couldn't sleep the other night, I found myself smiling so hard and thinking that I couldn't wait to show him off to my parents.