I am lovestruck. So I get infatuated easily. *shrug* Before this, I'd never admit to crushes. I'd just swear I'm in love and everything'll come crashing on me. I just think that crushes are for hormonal teenage girls. Then again, pinkpau thinks I'm 18. Tsk. And with those simplistic teenage crushes of the past came a list. Something I've written about before.

But you know what, I think I've come full circle. And that list is gone. All crossed out! Just this week I crossed out the last person on that list. No more hoping and pining every time I see him. I'm moving on. Fresh new slate. New list? Hahaha...

Y'know what? I feel good about myself that I can admit to getting infatuated, wearing my heart on my sleeve. But I still get ashamed for loving all the attention. It's addictive, yes. And makes me look like a flutter butter-fly. Gawd, especially when I'm drunk! Swear it's a happy giggly drunk, not the "anal-retentive". It's a short phase I want to get over, because deep inside I know I deserve more than just the superficial attention. And one day I will find something meaningful. I just need to be zen about life & enjoy the journey, not the destination. That'll be the phrase drilled into my head from now on.

So I'm going to be happy this moment, just being taken in by what was shared with me in such a short time. Even if I'd just spent hours at home on a Saturday night talking with someone over 6000kms away. Sometimes you can be with a roomful of people and still be alone. Or you can be with just one person and be content, can't you?

How was the date?
It was good. Right up to where he turned green and threw up.

Hey, I know you'll be reading this. I hope you feel better soon. This is for you--